I sometimes wonder if I have an alter ego.
When my husband accidentally wakes me up, he says I glare at him like the Devil or sometimes even cuss at him. In my awake moments, I’m pretty nice! I don’t glare and I don’t cuss–especially at him! But the other side of me must be pretty mean.
The only time I have ever flipped anyone off was when I was coming out of the fog from anethesia after got my wisdom teeth taken out. Worse yet, it was my DAD that I gave the bird.
I was a freshman in college and came home for some vacation–I can’t remember if it was spring break or summer break–and had to get all four teeth removed. I was terrified! Besides, I was in college. Didn’t I need wisdom?
After my mini-surgery, Dad took me to get a milkshake.
Still bleary-eyed from the anesthesia and a mouth full of cotton, I attempted to make small talk.
“When do I haf to go back and get the thiches out?”
“You don’t. But you have to go back in a week to get your other two teeth pulled.”
[Whining!] “Uh-duh two teef? Dey were thu-ppothed to pull all four ta-day! I don wanna go back!”
“Oh? Well, I guess you’ll have to go back and get the other two pulled next week.”
“Daaad! Are you theriouth?”
[Masking a grin.] “‘Yeth. I’m theriouth.’”
“You are not.”
AND THEN, I gave him the bird. First time to ever have the satisfaction of holding “tall man” up for something other than “Where is tall man, where is tall man? Here I am, here I am! How are you today sir…” “I’m ANGRY–that’s how I am!”
Anesthesia makes us do strange things. It brought out my alter ego, apparently. (Maybe I should name her. What’s a mean sounding name? Razor. Slash. Scar.) Maybe it brings these weird things out of us because who really knows how to say “anesthesia.” It’s worse than trying to say “worcestershire sauce.” (Ooo! I should try to say worcestershire sauce with a mouth full of cotton! “Wah-tes-thu-thu Sauth.”)
Anesthesia made my friend, Jaclyn, do something hilarious after her wisdom tooth extraction. I received the following text from her a couple of hours after her appointment (top gray text):
Jaclyn, I hope you’re recovering well! Thanks for being a great sport and letting me put your text on the blog!
Okay. Enough randomness for today.
“Haf a gweat day, yahll!”